Perhaps one of my pet peeves in life right now is the fact that people think that just because my father/ uncle owns the bar I work in, I can get away with things.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's out there in the open. The bar where I work is owned by my uncle and my father. In fact, my direct boss, the VP of Marketing is my father! (But I do the dirty work. He barely lifts a finger and even brags it to other people that I run the show now). I never experienced going from street to street, building to building, floor to floor, door to door, passing resumes and going through the hardships of finding a job, competing against thousands of newly graduates who are more qualified than I am simply because I was offered a temporary job to work in the marketing department of the bar for six months. In the beginning, the job was offered so that I have something to put in my resume. After all, you have an advantage if you have more experience. Two years and seven months later, I'm still here and I know that I'm still here, not because I'm the niece or the daughter of the owner, but because I'm doing one heck of a good job.

It annoys me that people introduce me as "pamangkin (niece) of _______" or "anak (child) of _______" because in the bar where I work, I know I'm much more than that. Some people add (when I'm being introduced) that I "handle marketing" and to me, it makes it seem that I was hired in that position in the first place because I am the niece or daughter of the owner. Whenever people say, "Oh, so you own ________ pala!" I always say, "My uncle and father does. I don't." Some people even say, "That's the same thing!" I always answer, "No, it's not. They shelled out money to put up the place. I didn't." Yet, because of this connotation, I am pushed to work harder to prove that I am not the marketing manager because I am the niece or daughter of the owner, but because I know what I am doing and I'm good at my job!

As I said earlier, many people think that just because I'm the niece/ daughter of the owner, I can get away with things, particularly rules and protocols. For example,

(1) We have a "no reservations" policy every Friday, which we absolutely, strictly enforce. It's so strict that even our stockholders aren't allowed to have reservations. Once, our ceo/ president, my uncle, even called to ask if he could reserve a table for a VIP that he couldn't say no to. We told him, "Have you forgotten you own the place?" Anyway, a former classmate from college called me up, trying to get a reservation on a Friday. I told her that I couldn't do that and explained to her the policy. She says, "Pare naman! Para naman di ka may ari n'yan? (Dude! As if you don't own the place?!)" And that just got my blood boiling. And so in a nice way, I told her that more than anything, I also work there and we have rules and protocols to follow. Had I said yes to her request, many of our guests would complain and be angry.

(2) We have dress codes too. One of which is no short pants for males allowed inside. A friend called me up at 2am, while I was about to sleep, asking me to bend the rules for her friend. I explained that I couldn't do that because some of our guests would get mad, especially if we had to turn them away before. She kept begging and pleading but I kept my ground.

(3) A friend called me earlier saying that they were in one of our branches waiting in line to get in. They have been waiting for 30 minutes now to get a table. He was hoping that I can call someone to let them in. While I could do that, I also didn't want to "abuse that power." If they were waiting that long, it simply means that we were fully booked and they had to wait till a table is free. And if I let them cut through the wait list, the other people in line who waited more than they have would get pissed off and I don't want that.

I guess the bottomline is, the reason why I don't like to be known as the niece/ daughter of the owner of the bar is, aside from people wanting me to break rules and protocol, I feel caught in between being an employee who has to follow the rules and being a friend. I'm worried that if I don't give in to them, they will think that I am being ungrateful or I don't have "utang na loob", especially if they ever did favors for me before. It's hard enough just saying "no" to them.

I realized that some of the reasons why the Philippines is having a hard time developing lie in the people itself. First of all, Filipinos have a hard time saying 'no.' Many times, it has become our downfall. If not saying no means they'd get in trouble, they would. If they have to break rules and protocol, they would. Just to make someone happy. Second, while it is good to develop your contacts and connections, people use it at the expense of others (see examples 1 and 3). Lastly, Filipinos have a deep sense of gratitude or "utang na loob." In general, this is a good trait. Having a deep sense of gratitude doesn't just lie in being grateful or appreciative. It goes as far as returning the favor done upon you, not necessarily in the same sense, but possibly in another way that could benefit the other. I know some Filipinos whose business ended up bankrupt because they gave enormous discounts left and right to friends because of "utang na loob."

I was talking to Josh, the owner of Zong, about this and we share the same experiences and sentiments. We know that in other countries, "no" means "no" and "a rule is a rule" and things are done in a systemized way and no one is exempted by doing a short cut. (Does anyone follow what I mean?) And that's why, I guess, in the business spectrum of it, they're far more better than we are.

(Hmmm, funny how I was just ranting here about something concerning myself and then it broadens to the Filipinos' personality and culture).